Everyday miracles

Sure, some people get to see the Virgin Mary in their blueberry pancakes or Munch's The Scream on their moldy butter.  Then said people get to make an easy grand selling these food products on ebay or getting an interview on some local morning show.  Not me, here's what I get:

I get the potato shaped like a dude's junk.  Not even awe-inspiring junk, if I rolled that small I'd never stop crying.  But there you have it, fortune took a moment to smile on me and that smile took the form of oven-roasted genitalia giving it that sweet leprosy vibe.

After I took that picture, I totally ate it and honestly it tasted exactly as an oven-roasted, garlic, rosemary, and olive oil coated set of balls made out of an organic potato should.  It's nice, if not a bit strange, to actually remember how this dong ended up in my mouth as opposed to all those bizarre mornings waking from a night of blackout drinking in former Soviet satellite nations.

These digressions constantly remind me that I haven't cracked the writer's block I've suffered since I got my first two paragraphs down.  I know a lot of writers use a tool called outlining, but I never knew what it was until recently.  Apparently it's common practice at homicide scenes as well, but I can't see how outlines would accomplish anything there.  Regardless, I decided maybe it was time I started expanding my writing tool box to get over this Chapter 1, Paragraph 2 hump I've crashed into.

1. Introduce King Rex on a penal mining asteroid working a jackhammer from the future.  I mean really working it, glistening and grunting.

(Easy enough since I already wrote this.)

2. ????
3. ????
4-????. ????
????. King Rex and Hotina Fox totally do it.  End with the hook to save the galaxy.

(Also easy enough since I already wrote this.)

Seeing my idea laid out like this has helped tremendously.  I get so wrapped up in wanting to explore the beauty of language and wanting to score so many hot chicks, that I forget how often writing boils down to nose-to-the-grindstone work.  It's not brain surgery, I just need to think of a few points that get Rex and Hotina from that first paragraph to complete carnal grunting.  To do that, I'm going to need the right tools such as those giant touch screen displays I see on the 24-hour news channels.  Can't do a proper outline without special-ordering a few of those.

Sure, I may still be climbing the slopes of Mount Writer's Block, but at least I can buy my way into sight of the peak.